Saturday, July 11, 2009

Weddings and Cheerios

I hate going to weddings. I hate everything about them except cake, booze (if it is free), and the bouquet toss (because I love to win things). This weekend I am putting my hatred for weddings aside because one of my best friends forever ever ever (BFFEE) is getting married.

Naomi and I have lived together for 3 years. She is moving out of our apartment to move in with her husband, which when you think about it that basically means that I should be giving the bride away, but whatever whatever no big deal. Naomi is one of the soul mates of my life a and I am going to miss living with her so much. Of the 3 years we lived together almost the entire first year was spent hating each other. I can't really explain why we hated one another other than the facts that she's really into God, I am inappropriate all of the time, living in a dorm is the most ridiculous way of living I have ever seen, and we had the exact same schedule for an entire year.

One morning we woke for an 8a.m. class and I proceeded to make myself a bowl of cereal. Keep in mind that the beginning of our living arrangement was during my pre-lactose intolerant days, my lactose tolerant days if you will. With the first mouthful of this said cereal I knew I had made a terrible choice. Something was killing my mouth. The milk had soured. I dramatically spit it out and poured the rest of the milk down the drain. I looked over at Naomi who was avoiding my gaze, seemingly unaware of the awfulness that had just occurred. I then noticed that Naomi was eating plain Cheerios. Dry. No Milk. She knew! She had to have known, no one eats dry Cheerios except babies, and even babies hate them. I grabbed my stuff and stormed out, but not without slamming the door first because everyone knows that is the best way to get feelings across. I didn't even bring it up until 2 years later and then she claimed to not remember the event at all...

We were true enemies then. Who knew that we would end up bonding over our love of April Fool's Day and end up actually liking each other? Who knew she would find a dude to marry her in 2 years? But we do like each other and she did find a nice guy to marry, and I am happy for her. I can honestly say that Naomi is one of the most important people in my life and not living with her next year makes me really really really sad, but I am excited for her to get married. Get it gurl get it!

Sorry for all of the reminiscing, I guess even this girl can be cheesy. :)

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Once on this Island

I came across this add for Tostitos.

It's a floating island made of cheese. Ridiculous. I know that I'm biased but I don't think anyone would want to live there. The floating alone makes me quite nervous. I have many reasons why I would not live here but here are my top 10.

10. Cheese is flame retardant. I would not be able to build a fire. How would I cook anything?
9. Even the animals on this island would contain dairy products.
8. I think the obvious problem would be; sunshine+cheese=a foul odor. No one wants the place they live to smell bad.
7.This brings me to the big elephant in the room...What kind of gastrointestinal issues would one have if they were to live on a diet that consisted only of cheese, even if someone wasn't lactose intolerant. Gross.
6. Cheese as a food by itself is nothing to write home about. What would I write on a post card? No one wants an "I'm miserable" post card, and I personally do not want to send one.
5. With the impending doom of global warming the island would probably melt and then what?
4. I made a promise to myself a long time ago that I would never own a home on edible ground.
3. Any lover I would find on an island made of cheese would probably not be pleased by the lack of cheese in my life. I've been broken up with over my inability to eat pizza before, I'm not interested in re-living that experience again.
2. I probably would not be able to afford it. What job would hire someone who has publicly declared war on the basis of the country? It would be like allowing Cat Stevens to make music in the U.S. again...
1. I'm a respectable girl,I do not want to live a lie. I hate cheese and it hates me. We have struck a nice balance. If I were to go to this island of cheese it would probably mess up the whole floating structure all together and that idea is terrifying to me.