Friday, June 19, 2009
"Hey, do you want a coke...why are you crying"?
"Joseph always had that ridiculous white ring of coke around the inside of his nose".
"I was just asking if you were thirsty..."
I'm not going through any of these 'terrible' things at the moment, but I've realized that I have begun to make people really uncomfortable. When out with friends they will ever so softly ask, "Megan, where do you want to eat? Where CAN you eat?". It's very strange. I really noticed it the other day when my friend Jen said,"I really want a grilled cheeee- sorry". She wouldn't even say cheese in front of me. Cheese isn't a bad word! I can hear it, I will wattch someone eat it, and I'll even allow it in my house. I'm not crazy and I don't have cancer. There's no need to tip toe around me. I can't eat dairy, no big deal. Please treat me like a normal person. I am lucky enough to have one friend that treats me normally. This friend navigates me to the dairy section last week to say, " I don't need anything, I just wanted to stare at all of the things you can't have". What a sweetheart. She scoffs at my lactose intolerance and I laughed at her when she had a stroke. Friends forever. When I get cancer I hope she makes fun of my bald head. I'll sure as hell make fun of hers.
Monday, June 15, 2009
I almost went too. Almost... In the end I was too worried that I would actually end up walking this gentleman's dog and in true pushover fashion meeting his kids and ex-wife, and then, before I knew it I would be marrying this gutsy hamburger entrepreneur. It's disappointing because who knows when an oppurtunity will arise like this again. I just have to keep telling myself; there's always another bar, always another hamburger joint, always another lonely 40 something desperate for a young girl who will walk with him and his dog...
"Spend all your time waiting for that second chance
For the break that will make it ok
There's always some reason to feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day...
In the arms of an Angel, fly away from here..."
-Arms of An Angel by Sarah McLachlan.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
It took me some time but I finally got around to writing my letters to fellow lactose intolerant celebrities. I decided to hand write the letters for more charm. After 6 letters my hand hurts like hell and all charm is gone. I had not written a letter to a celebrity since I was 9 years old when I wrote to Kristi Yamaguchi, the figure skater. This time around it felt a lot more uncomfortable and I think my letters ended up looking like they had actually been written by a 9 year old. Either way, I think I got my point across.
With my 6 letters written to near perfection here are some of the highlights:
When I say they are written to 'near perfection' I mean instances like the 3 attempts to spell 'acquaintance' in my letter to Anne Hathaway. Or the crossed out their to there to Orlando Bloom. I'm just weird about grammar, I hope they appreciate I went through the trouble.
Mainly there was a lot of me being as awkward in writing as I am in real life.
-To Katey Sagal (Peg from Married with Children) I wrote 'I still think of you when I see leopard print'.
-To Jessica Alba I told her that her baby was cute and that I hoped she could still eat cheese.
- I'm weirdly obsessed with Mary-Kate and Ashley so I was most excited to write her. I proclaimed my love to her and I told her how much I loved 'New York Minute' I told her to "fuck the critics" and make more movies.
-My weirdest letter by far was to Halle Berry. Her letter must have been written last. I wrote to her, "I know you just had a baby, wasn't it weird that you could produce milk but can't digest it yourself. I cannot wrap my mind around this".
I tried to make a unique sign off for every letter.
-Let’s make this world dairy free for you and me
- Your fellow sufferer of a dairy free life
-Your dairy free acquaintance
All of my letters had some sort of request for the celeb to speak out more about their ailment. If you were to read all of the letters I think you would wonder if my main goal is to get a restraining order. At least then I’ll know the letters were read.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
There are several reasons why I would tell you not to eat at the Delmar Restaurant and Lounge in St. Louis. There are the normal reasons like poor service, questionable cleanliness, randomness of the menu, etc. The bathrooms are gross and the toilets are at such a height that it is impossible for a girl of 5’6” to properly hover. But there is one good thing about this eatery that shines among a sea of negative critiques; when ordering a burger, the Delmar Restaurant and Lounge will not put cheese on it unless requested. I like this trait for the obvious reasons. Others would probably say that it is cheap of them, and if you are not lactose intolerant this may just be another negative tally for the restaurant. Choose what you will, but you should probably check it out for the unbelievably slow paced bartender alone.