Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Once on this Island

I came across this add for Tostitos.

It's a floating island made of cheese. Ridiculous. I know that I'm biased but I don't think anyone would want to live there. The floating alone makes me quite nervous. I have many reasons why I would not live here but here are my top 10.

10. Cheese is flame retardant. I would not be able to build a fire. How would I cook anything?
9. Even the animals on this island would contain dairy products.
8. I think the obvious problem would be; sunshine+cheese=a foul odor. No one wants the place they live to smell bad.
7.This brings me to the big elephant in the room...What kind of gastrointestinal issues would one have if they were to live on a diet that consisted only of cheese, even if someone wasn't lactose intolerant. Gross.
6. Cheese as a food by itself is nothing to write home about. What would I write on a post card? No one wants an "I'm miserable" post card, and I personally do not want to send one.
5. With the impending doom of global warming the island would probably melt and then what?
4. I made a promise to myself a long time ago that I would never own a home on edible ground.
3. Any lover I would find on an island made of cheese would probably not be pleased by the lack of cheese in my life. I've been broken up with over my inability to eat pizza before, I'm not interested in re-living that experience again.
2. I probably would not be able to afford it. What job would hire someone who has publicly declared war on the basis of the country? It would be like allowing Cat Stevens to make music in the U.S. again...
1. I'm a respectable girl,I do not want to live a lie. I hate cheese and it hates me. We have struck a nice balance. If I were to go to this island of cheese it would probably mess up the whole floating structure all together and that idea is terrifying to me.

1 comment:

  1. Irrelevant to this particular blog, I ordered a free sample of Lactose pills today, just in case, your ever around.